


Xanny

by AbsinthexMind



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Depression, Emotions, F/M, Healing, Human/Vampire Relationship, Medication, Mental Health Issues, Self-Medication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-09-30 19:49:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20452610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsinthexMind/pseuds/AbsinthexMind
Summary: You didn't need any medication. Not when you had Jasper to take the edge off of things.





	Xanny

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to follow me on Instagram (missabsinthewrites)

You hold onto Jasper, slim arm wrapped around his naked torso. His face is hidden in your hair as he inhales softly. Never in your life had you felt so serene, not like when you were with Jasper. 

Jasper shifts his face so that cool lips brush against your forehead. Whenever he did so you felt another wave of reassurance. He always joked that he was kissing the bad thoughts away. Before you had found out he was a vampire you thought it was utterly cute of him. Now though you knew he was telling the truth. With his powers he was able to banish any overwhelming emotion that took over you. 

Not that long ago you suffered badly from mental disorders. Severe anxiety, crippling depression, and just feeling like your whole entire life was empty. They were memories you didn’t want to visit ever again.  
  
**  
  


_“Honey, did you take your pills today?”_

_ You knew she meant well, but the last thing you wanted to do was take pills that made you feel miserable and even more exhausted. _

_ Staring at the orange bottle on your nightstand that had your name printed on the label, you turn your back to it. “I don’t think it’s worth it mom. . . It takes my anxiety away but. . . it just makes me so sluggish.”_

_ Your mom heaves a weary sigh “(y/n), you need to take them. It’ll get better and if you keep taking them consistently then maybe one day you won’t have to take anymore. You can’t live your life like this anymore. It’s interfering with your work.”_

_ She was right, of course it was worth it if it got rid of your crippling anxiety that rendered you a mess. However you felt like you had to force yourself to do anything after taking them. Many times you had complained to your mom that maybe they gave you too high of a dosage. Your mom didn’t care though. As long as they got rid of your anxiety. She even thought a higher dosage was better for you. She was misguided, but she was the one paying for your medication. _

_ The rattle of the pills inside of the bottle has you lifting yourself up from the bed. With her hand held out to you, your mom takes a seat at the edge of your bed. On her palm are two long, white rectangles._

_ “Just give them some time.” She begs you. “Your body will acclimate to them and you won’t feel as sluggish.”_

_ Even though she supported you taking pills for you anxiety, you knew your mom didn’t really understand what you were going through. She figured if you popped enough pills your anxiety would go away for good. Deep down you knew better than that. You knew that the pills would only make them go away for a little bit. You wanted to talk to her about your problems, the problems that were giving you anxiety but your mom would always turn a deaf ear to you. She didn’t want to put effort into really helping you. She just wanted to put a bandaid on the problem. Pursing your lips, you reach out for them. _  
  
  
*  
  


_Her emotions are what first drew Jasper to her. Such a large well of them, overflowing and always too much for her. How could any human feel a single emotion so intently as (y/n) did. Her nerves even rattled Jasper as he felt them shock his core. _

_ They overwhelmed him the first time he had met (y/n). He had stopped dead in his tracks right outside of a coffee shop. Through the other side of the window he saw her behind the counter. Her face was numb from all emotions, but Jasper felt them. Felt what she was really going through. Using his power which he had developed since becoming a vampire, Jasper sent out a calming aura to her. Sent it like a warm wave over to her. It was the first time that he felt like his ability actually helped someone. The expression on her face changed completely from one of trying to contain a storm to one of confusion, then acceptance. _

_ Even though her face still showed signs of weariness, at least there was light in (e/c) eyes that used to be dull. A light that Jasper wanted to see more of. He sparked the flame and now he wanted to see it engulf her entire being. _

_ From that first meeting, Jasper had made frequent stops to the coffee shop to make her feel better. Eventually, with the help of Alice, she encouraged him to actually go inside and talk to the human girl. _

_ What could he possibly say to her though? He couldn’t read minds like Edward. He didn’t know what her life was like, only the feelings that she possessed. _

_ “You’ve lived for over a hundred years and you’re still afraid to talk to girls.” Alice snorted and nudged him closer to the door. “Just use your charm. Say something funny.”_

_ Jasper groans at her. At one point in time they had been together as a couple but decided that at best their were best friends. He relied heavily on Alice when it came to matters of the heart though for she could see into the future. Unfortunately, she wasn’t willing to help him out with this one. Jasper had begged her to tell him if she could see a future where him and (y/n) were together. She claimed it wasn’t fair to (y/n).“Can’t you go in with me?”_

_ Alice shakes her head, gold eyes looking through the glass door into the warmth of the coffee shop. “You have to do this yourself Jazz. She’ll just come to the conclusion that we’re a couple. What are you so scared of? You’ve told me many times how good you feel when you’re able to make her day better. How once you take away her intense feelings that her eyes light up like fireworks.” _

_ “We’re just so different.” A pathetic excuse, but it was the only one the blonde vampire could come up with. He knew Alice was right. She was always right._

_ To comfort him, she places a small hand on his upper arm. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. Maybe you should use your powers on yourself to calm you down.”_

_ That managed to make him chuckle. If only he could use his powers on himself. _

_ “Go on Jazz. She won’t bite. Look how cute she is in her little apron. Don’t you actually want to talk to her?”_

_ He did. He was terrified but his desire to get to know her was stronger._

_ Alice opened the door for him, making the bell on the bar chime as the door moved. With stiff legs Jasper moves forward. There were a few people already inside, minding their own business and enjoying whatever they had ordered._

_ Ordered. He should probably do that, right? That’s what humans did when they went into coffee shops. Jasper couldn’t very well go up to (y/n) and just start a random conversation. That would be creepy. _

_ At his drawing presence near the counter, (y/n) looks up and offers him a soft smile. “Hello!”_

_ There was a slight numbness to her emotions which went away when she actually registered Jasper. It was replaced by one of shyness induced by the fact that she found him attractive. _

Good. At least he knew that she thought he was cute. 

_ “Hello.” Jasper replied with a grin and quickly shoots his gaze up to the chalkboard menu above her. It took him less than a second to read all of it and quickly choose something at random. “I’ll have the Red Eye.” That sounded interesting._

_ “Long night?”_

_ “More like a long couple of years.”_

_ (y/n) nods. “I can understand that.” As if not to say anything more on the subject, her polite smile returns. “That’ll be $2.75, sir.”_

_ Reaching for his pocket, Jasper realizes with slight horror that he didn’t have it. Even though he could physically blush he still felt some sort of heat rise to his cheeks as he pats down his pants like an idiot. He felt. . . well, human for the first time in decades. Ever since turning he had never blundered so badly. Cool and composed, that’s what vampires were.“Um. . . I’m so sorry about this but it seems that I’ve misplaced my wallet.” His voice trembles slightly as he is quickly losing his composure. God, she must think that he’s trying to get a free coffee. “I promise I’ll be right back, I just have to go to my car-”_

_ “Really, don’t worry about it.” (y/n)’s voice is so soothing that Jasper’s frazzled mind stops in its tracks. He gauges her feelings. Endearing. That’s what she thought of him. Endearing, silly, cute, and. . . a little dorky? That last one wasn’t quite flattering but he’d take it over her thinking he was a jackass. “I got it. It’s only $3. I’m not going to go broke over $3.” (y/n) giggles. Genuine joy. And Jasper didn’t even have to do anything. _

_ Still, he felt embarrassed. “I’m so sorry about this. I promise I’ll pay you back.”_

_ She waves him off and Jasper catches the soft pink lines of scars on the inside of her wrist. “Don’t worry about it. Can I get your name?”_

_ “Jasper.” Here goes nothing. “Do you mind if I get your name as well?”_

_ Her face immediately breaks out in a blush, (e/c) eyes sparkling with dancing stars. “(y/n).”_  
  
*  
  


_ Months had gone by since you started regularly seeing Jasper. For the first time in your short life you could say that every day since you met him was a good day. One thing you knew for certain was that it wasn’t because of your medication. It still continued to make you feel like there was a heavy blanket around you when you took it. You had given it time like your mother told you, but things were still the same with them. That sluggish, foggy feeling would only go away when you were near Jasper. Soon enough you had told him that you were taking medication due to all of your mental health issues. You had required a great amount of courage in telling him, even when the words were out you feared that he would up and leave. That he wouldn’t want anything to do with you anymore. _

_ Jasper always had such smart eyes, eyes that looked into you, not through you as he tried desperately to understand you as a person. That was a first too. _

_ Sick to your stomach with fear, you felt on the verge of crying. He was so silent. Surely he wouldn’t want to see you anymore._

_ Instead his cold hands turn your chin so that you could face him as he leans in to kiss you. _  
**  


“(y/n)?” 

“Hm?” With eyes still closed you nuzzle your face against his chest. As cold and unfeeling as it was, for you it was the most comfortable place in the entire world. 

“I just noticed something. I haven’t had to use my powers on you for quite a while now.” Practically hearing the smile in his voice made your heart skip a beat. 

You grin, holding him closer to you. “I’ve noticed that too. Maybe it’s because you’ve been doing it so often that my brain finally has the chemicals it needs to function properly.” 

“Regardless I’m happy for you.” 

There was no need for those wretched pills. You had your happiness now.


End file.
